I’ve been trying to write a new post for days.

I’ve sat at my laptop ready to type, had my phone in my hands ready for the words to flow out of me more times than I can count, and each time, the words just will not come.

Today, I realized that I have been waiting on perfect words. Words that are pretty to read. Something glittery that paints the most sparkly picture of life.

And I know that’s where I went wrong.

The whole point of this blog and my writing is to keep it real and be honest. I never want you all to think that I paint my life as picture-perfect, or that I hide behind sparkly words. I want this space to be a place where we can meet each other in the beautiful moments, but also during the moments that may be a little harder to look at.

This week has been harder than some.

My mental health is in the dumps, the entire house has been sick and recovering from a couple of different illnesses, and I just feel like the most exhausted version of myself.

You know the kind I’m talking about?

That version where you can’t fully devote your entire self to any one thing because you’re just so exhausted? You feel like you’re doing everything and not enough all in the same breath? And no matter what you do, it doesn’t feel like enough?

Yeah. That’s what I’m feeling.

And honestly? I cannot stand that feeling.

And, since we’re being honest, I just feel like I’ve let the circumstances of the last few weeks-the exhaustion, the busyness, the sickness-let me drift from that closeness to God.

It may sound silly, to some.

But this last month, I have been growing so much in my relationship with the Lord. My soul has been on fire for what He has been doing in my life, the prayers He has answered, and the prayers He has been listening to.

The ways He let me know He heard my prayers and He is working? I can’t even describe how He has moved!

I answered the calling He had placed on me, and there was so much joy in that answer.

And don’t get me wrong, there is still joy. But I’ve let it become a bit distant.

There’s something so poignant about that feeling. Feeling that indescribable joy illuminating your very soul, then allowing it to become distant. Especially when I know all I have to do to find that closeness again is simply ask and to keep seeking that relationship with Him.

Sometimes we can let life be so hard, when there is such a simple answer.

Let go, and let God.

I can’t control my circumstances, but God can guide me through them.

That version of myself that I don’t like? God sees the best in her. And He is right there in the middle of it all, ready to meet her with Grace.

And maybe one of the hardest things we can learn is how to show that same grace to ourselves.

We give ourselves expectations we would never place on someone else. We tell ourselves we should have done more, been better, handled it differently, kept it together.

And, somewhere in the middle of it all, we forget that we are human too.

We are allowed to have hard days. To be exhausted. To not have all the answers. But, we can still show that version of ourselves that we are still worthy of love and grace.

We can be so cruel to ourselves, but our Heavenly Father continues to look at us with love and adoration. And

God isn’t standing over us, keeping score of all the ways we didn’t measure up. He is meeting us right where we are with grace.

And maybe I need to remember that I can meet myself there, too.

The exhaustion. The sadness. The overwhelming feeling of not being enough.

He’s is right there reminding me:

I AM MADE FOR THIS.

Maybe life hasn’t been easy for you lately.

Maybe you’re struggling with your mental health, questioning your place, or questioning your calling.

Maybe your joy has become distant.

Maybe life isn’t all shiny and sparkly, and you’re carrying more than anyone knows.

You are not alone.

God is still there in the middle of the mess.

He has not moved.

And maybe, just maybe, you don’t need those perfect words either. Maybe, today, you need someone to hold your hand and tell you that they are right there with you.

Let go, take a breath, show yourself grace, and let Him meet you where you are.